Guitar Player Prerequisite

This is certainly an effective way of getting people not to f... with your flyers.

I have a really reallly really dirty mind.

Well, what do you see? If you see a nut and bolt and some wood, then thank God. If you see anything else, then you might want to check the pulse of the women you've been sleeping with. Maybe they're not women at all, but, like, pieces of wood.

I'm not sure exactly what the heck this thing is, but I'd surely poop a brick if I ever caught one! Then, I'd dump him in the public pool!

It never would have occurred to me to name something Awesome.

Clearly they don't believe in Santa. There's no way a 300 lb dude is going to be agile enough to get presents under that tree.

And those are bigger than her's!

How much more evidence do you need to realize a cop life is a good life? You get to make fun of people. People get to make fun of you. And then there’s the occasional hotty that crosses your path.